It’s my father’s ninetieth birthday today.
“How does it feel to be ninety?” I asked.
“I feel the same, but I avoid mirrors.”
“When I asked you how it felt to be sixty-five. You told me that your mind is still twenty but your body reminds you that you’re older.”
“So I said almost the same thing,” We both laughed.
When I was younger, I never imagined my father living to ninety.
In 1996, when I had my second near-death experience (NDE), and the angels told me that I had to go back, as I hadn’t finished my mission, I became obsessed. I mediated for hours wondering if I’d been sent back only to say goodbye to loved ones, and what was the promise that I’d made in heaven.
Besides reconciling with friends and family, three months after the NDE I began writing, which has always been my childhood dream. I realized this would be my only regret if I died. Most people that die regret the things they didn’t do.
Since this NDE, I’ve pondered on life and death. In the movie, Blade Runner, the robots are searching for their maker to know when is their expiry date.
What would you regret that you hadn’t done? Even as you stood before God, you would remember it?
In the movie, Walk the Line, the music producer asks Johnny Cash something like this, “If you knew that you would die tomorrow, what song would you sing?” He sung, Walk the Line, a song that he had written.
When I experience writer’s block, I think about my age and what I want to accomplish before I expire. Then I sit down, knowing how quickly time passes, and I write what I’m passionate about.
Most people have a fear of public speaking. In Grade 11, I wrote a speech about epilepsy. My brother is an epileptic and I’d witnessed adults and children harass him because of it. I learned if I was passionate about a topic, I lost my fear of speaking. I didn’t even care if I made a fool of myself. I won first place.
What are you passionate about? Everybody has a story to tell. What is your story that only you, could tell?
I believe that procrastination is always fear based. You’re not lazy. “Feel the fear, and do it anyways.”
Did you promise yourself you’d write this year? Why not go where the pen takes you?
Keep writing! As the late Ed Wildman said, “The only way you can be defeated is if you quit writing.”