THE LATE ED WILDMAN - HWG HISTORY

June 2004

Living in the country, I only had dial up and I never checked email on the weekends. Since my oldest daughter had checked her email, I checked mine that day.

I’d received an email from Frances, his partner. She told me that Ed had cancer but he’d been operated on and would be okay. I, who never cry, wiped away the tears from my eyes.

“It’s not good,” I told my husband. “We’ll have to visit him tomorrow.”

I explained that I had one of my "bad feelings." He nodded.

When I visited Ed on Sunday, June 13, the bad feeling intensified.

Outside in the hospital parking lot, I said, “He’s dying.”

“Don’t be crazy,” my husband said. “He'll be okay.”

My husband had joined Ed's writing workshops in April 2003 and he didn't want to loose Ed either.

June 17, 2004 - I wrote this in my journal.

I cannot explain exactly how I feel about Ed. I feel lucky that he calls me friend. You know that he has thousands of friends but you want to be his friend, too.

There’s gentleness about Ed when he speaks. He tells the best stories and I could listen to him for hours. He must have kissed the blarney stone and all Irish people would welcome him as a friend.

Ed visited me in my dreams and he shared wisdom with me. He reminds me of God. He’s nonjudgmental, caring, and he always knows the right words to inspire everyone. I view him as one of God’s angels quietly inspiring each person that he meets on the planet.

Ed listens to each one of us. He makes me feel as if he understands the real me that I hide from other people. It’s like he shares pieces of his heart and soul with you.

Sometimes Ed plays God in my dreams. When I told this to Ed, he laughed. I mentioned that whenever he reads his writing that I can hear his "voice."

“That’s the best compliment that anybody has ever given me,” he said.

I feel that Ed is more than a writer and more than a mentor; he’s somebody who has touched my soul and inspired me to aim for the stars. There’s an undefined quality about Ed that inspires each of us as writers and human beings. It’s like my daughter said, “We all want to wow him.”

Everybody gets Ed’s undivided attention. He gives us recognition, which a lot of us crave, and in turn our soul feels this love connection. He's one of the most pivotal person in my creative life. His influence has enhanced my writing.

I believe that Ed shares love from his soul each time we met at the writing workshop. We all desired to be his friend ‘cause there’s nobody on the planet quite like Ed.

Ed died on June 20, 2004 on Father’s Day. And the late Janet Bellinger said at the time, “Ed was like a father to all of us. The father that we wished we had.”

Ed, sometimes I wish that I could mentor the other writers like you but I can’t ‘cause I’ll never be YOU! I still miss you. Happy Father’s Day.

This week, Janet visited with me in my dream. I’d like to think she’s hanging out with Ed and writing novels in heaven.